The Mustache Fight
You know what they say....
And one where I carry you to work.
I mean, all you're missing is the penis.
Destry's Bad Day
Bowling for boy scouts.
Are they swarming to attack? Or are they his army?
THE BOY SCOUTS DIE TONIGHT!
Where did this blood come from?
SCURVIED!
Something that makes you feel manly.
I took the tiger commute lane in.
Nelson's love life.
It's an emergency--THERE'S NO MORE YOGURT!
PRODUCK PLAZEMENTZ!
And ever?
The Dead One
Every cat loves their can opener.
4pm Wake Up Call
You can't pop a sweet wheelie with a baby.
...With Meatloaf on back up vocals!
Animal Rights
Amy has this friend Melanie, who's afraid of birds....
But have you tried urine?
The last time Pat goes to the bathroom.
Townships Take II: Ignore the first township, the link is broken because my laptop is made of wood and runs on steam.
Townships
See, one thousand pounds times four is....
Kyle would do anything to help a friend.
Another Quote Book Christmas: In which there are extras.
Another Quote Book Christmas Chapter Ten: In which a VCR could have avoided all of this.
Another Quote Book Christmas Chapter Nine: In which Santa's a dick.
Another Quote Book Christmas Chapter Eight: In which they should have had Georgia test the ladder.
Another Quote Book Christmas Chapter Seven: In which Santa can't be left to starve to death.
Another Quote Book Christmas Chapter Six: In which some pretty colorful signs are thrown.
Another Quote Book Christmas Chapter Five: In which Tim totally gets it.
Another Quote Book Christmas Chapter Four: In which people fucking love ball pits.
Another Quote Book Christmas Chapter Three: In which vampires still don't exist.
Another Quote Book Christmas Chapter Two: In which Mrs. Demon Hag doesn't call the cops.
Another Quote Book Christmas Chapter One: In which life is a series of disappointments leading to death.
Periwinkle
Ten years of good friends, good food, and peanut butter pie.
I'm gonna wipe twice just because I can.
Yes.
Pig Pen and DCYF
Not prettier than Roger Daltrey....
Preston's New Clothes
Quanity
The Maple Syrup Shot Aftermath
Ice Cream Plant
The punchline is it doesn't make sense when you explain it, either.
Enough of your considerate back sass!
3rd Annual Halloween Party! Or Hitler and Caligula give out candy to trick or treaters.
But it's because he loved Harry's mother the whole time!
Fight fire with fire!
Wait--did you say semen?
That explains the pan flute.
Elvis accidentally tears a lot of faces off.
Porn books, HUZZAH!
Can I pick truth?
Happy Columbus Was A Bitch, The Vikings Did It First Day!
Teacher?
How quickly one ages! Not me, to say, but you!
Not really much difference between a lunch hall in prison or high school.
Did you take Cleopatra to the prom?
Don't get Doug started on the moon landing.
Noses way.
Legal in Alaska
Milk makes anything cereal. Marbles, ants, skittles....
The several hundred loose cds really add atmosphere.
Doug was a wonderful asset on the high school debate team.
Tim just died in your arms tonight.
The Seven Lobster Combo
Preston's not Jewish.
The Biting Cuddle Muffin
BFF
Lollipops
Elvis is always naked.
Sixteen and Pregnant deserves all the Emmys.
Sniff....1:54 am.
Rafflesia
80 percent
You're not even counting the time if took to get divorced.
Dare Time!
Long walks on the beach are for pussies.
I call it my marriage-is-a-lie reminder.
Fight for Friendship
Tim's sense of humor.
It was the ice age, actually.
If looks could kill it would have been us instead him
She's your new Step Mom.
Where the party always is!
Um...
I'll be the first to admit it's no "Someday my Prince Will Come"....
The Circus is in town!
They're registered at the package store. (The one that carries Lucky Strikes).
Gracie and Tim and a love of literature.
M.C. Escher? Oh, and who is that Kyle? Some kind of DJ?
Mama Pat
Tim Solomon
Girl's Night
Pat goes to a fancy hotel.
THE ANTS DIE TONIGHT!
And I mean it's not like I dream about you every night -- I mean WHAT?
The Doug Wants to Fight Justin Thing
Somewhere in Nebraska.
It's a big line with the ladies.
It will match the anteater soap holder I found!
Wide Angle Lens
Elementary
They're made of eyeballs and stomach parts you know.
Somewhere deep in Tim's pocket, a perfectly good bottle of ether is going to waste.
SFW seeking NFR
Fucking hobos
Well....HE CAN'T!
It's not God Candy! Get it out of your mouth!
ME TOO
Snakes and hoses, it's a fine line.
This may also not be true.
OH SILLY ME.
For copyright reasons I should probably say this might not be true.
Enough is ENOUGH!
Kate Moss
Do you really WANT the Machines to win?
Georgia
What happens if you put the yellow one in the red one?
Lurchin' Stein
3D Kyle bangs it right.
Two Out of Three Ain't Bad?
This will be one awkward public service announcement.
Pat just can't win.
Eyeballs and ears
And the Pet Shop Boys--Oh, now I'm not so sure....
Dungeon Massa!
Pretenia
Lullabyes
Cherry Stem Knot Indicator
I had to look up how to spell chloroform online. So now somewhere there's a record of me looking up chloroform. Splendid.
Pat has dreams, too.
Shhhh, Mailman, shhhhh.
I'm Chuck!
The Doug Channel
Because that would be gross....
She's also being buried with all my Dad's fishing poles.
The joke usually is on me.
Or should I say wins?
FOUR BURGERS!!!
Trash Deer
Striped jackets, daisies, and everything.
Chemistry with Tim and Kyle
Charming and HOW
HULLO TIM
Men grow cold as girls grow old
Kunta Kinte
A cankle is a cankle is a cankle.
Actually, he's Mr. Tumnus.
There is plenty of Twlight!!!
It's only a matter of time until we say 'how are you'.
It's some kind of pastry, right?
The gayest thing ever.
Quite possibly the most stupid quote book ever?
Tum tum tum TUMS
DEATH MONKEY VS OCTOMOM!!!
Tin Foil Hat Champions!!!
Mix Tape
Tim's heart sees truth.
Love is letting them have the one shaped like the millenium falcon.
How to kitten proof an apartment.
CAPTAIN WHORE!
And Kyle's proud to be an American, where at least he's not married to Tim....
I love you, Grandma
Well hey, who doesn't like Star Wars?
Facebook Status
In Denny's visits, in cigarettes, in midnights, in punches to the stomach....
RENT!
Georgia's just saying....
A compliment from Pat
It still smells like metal.
Hold your breath--it gets better. You don't know what we can see.
Seriously, isn't she like 60?
Windshield Airhole
Neither one of them will ever budge.
No soda commitments.
A Unit of Holocaust
Ghost Spoon
A Quote Book Christmas Part 11: Holiday extras!
A Quote Book Christmas Part 10: Return through time!
A Quote Book Christmas Part 09: Showdown at House of Blue Vases
A Quote Book Christmas Part 08: Mean Pat,, er, our Pat, vs the Dastardly Preston
A Quote Book Christmas Part 08: Well adjusted Tim
A Quote Book Christmas Part 07: The plot thickens with Mean Justin, Peace Chuck, and Knittin' Pat
A Quote Book Christmas Part 06: Library Amy and the physics of time.
A Quote Book Christmas Part 05: Vicious Destry
A Quote Book Christmas Part 04: Sad Gracie and the Dastardly Preston
A Quote Book Christmas Part 03: Fat Georgia
A Quote Book Christmas Part 02: Pushover Justin and the Dastardly Preston with Mean Kyle
A Quote Book Christmas Part 01: Good Pat and Time Kyle
A Norman Rockwell Thanksgiving II
AOLAIMLOLBBQ
IN BED!!!!
Sadness
Limited Edition Pat with Robo Legs 02!
Limited Edition Pat with Robo Legs!
Dead soon!
As to whether or not I would, its a question of ethics, like Frankenstein.
Go Long!!
Pep talk.
And yes we can.
2nd Annual Halloween Gala and first quad-annual guilt trip!
Joe Sixpack Halloween Horror
Or, like, how many people have AIDS? That many times.
In Georgia's defense, Preston radically changes his appearance about every six months.
Over the years Gracie and Georgia came to call the invisible penguin Uncle Elton.
Judge Pat
Meow Mix
Hit that ball out of the park!
And let's not forget "the".
The terrible secret all rabbits fear.
1860's Boy Band
But it just didn't work with the last name Dunn
Candy Pants
THREE fingers and a thumb!!!
It's hammer time!
There's a bathroom on the right.
Atticus won best smile at Rat High.
With observations OF STEEL!!!
It was the strong minty taste that gave it away.
Name change
Cheezit + 2
Instant kill.
Preston's a romantic at heart.
A good night for Kyle.
Driving an automatic.
Easy
If you know him, you know its true.
Kissing babies and kicking ass.
That 's how angry Pat is.
Heavy loads.
Junior's Department
Fax Machine
Old School
Someday
Face Book Wall to Wall
Moments later Preston collided with the sky.
Role playing.
Gracie's Solution
Story time with Pat
CRITICAL FAIL
And then you realize that was probably the sugarcoated version.
What's red and breaks your teeth?
Special Shampoo
A pretty pretty prestontail.
Chuck's still the one with the gun on his shirt.
The Dog Farm
Official Skanking Business
AND IT SMELLS LIKE PIZZA!
Life Counseling.
Ah, memories to come.
And Jimi Hendrix was left handed.
AMERRRRica
Dickface
Hungry hungry dog....
Mr. Mustache Hand
Heaven is for everyone.
It was inevitable.
Well...are you?
No homo, but....
Indiana Jones and the Plot from AI
Ben and Jerry's round table talks.
THIS GUY!!
And make the French club every language! And the chess team will play all the games, football too!
I get by with a little help from my friends.
I thought Geddy Lee was a woman even after I saw a photograph.
The Dragon Slayer
IT'S COLD!!!
This soup needs more dildo.
I'll take mother's milk.
Confessions of a rogue.
Secrets still don't make friends.
Destry of the wild.
Pat and Tim got married in a fever
Make it work.
Here there be monsters?
Trojan Whore
Powerfulest
Mom isn't nostalgic all that often.
Does Germany think that walls can hide Tim? Even now Gracie's at his window.
Believe.
But I'd have to kill you....
"Heh...well, it's black and white today. Someone's going off to war."
Choo choo
Trash Bag Baby
Volleyball
Pat's not saying he's an Anthropologist. The certificate on the wall says it for him.
And he could.
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!
It's not sugar Mom, it's bait.
Then the emperor has already won....
CURRENT EVENT!!!
Leaning tower of Pisa? Preston did it.
Phil runs by....
The Princess and the Pat
Oh those wily rogues!
Spoonin'
According to this chart....
SCIENCE!
Well paint me Indigo Girl.
Is it Dale Earnhardt?
Destry saves the day!
But will Gracie finally get r-zaped?
Easter Someday
The Barn State
Spirited charge
Girl Talk
But there was the awesome scene he totally ripped off from the Mask that I hated the first time it was in the Mask!
I assure you miss, it's a trap!
Then I sense awe.
We already know they ride tricycles.
BRBBBLBBQ!
Psssh, nah.
NO! FOR REALZ, DON'T OPEN THAT BOX!
The pudding equation.
Chuck's Booty
Instant Replay
Destry finds the bright side.
No more ducks.
Such a charming young man....
WHAT?
Save the Dates
911 has Preston on speed dial.
I hate secret words.
Sister mind link!
Our idea of Sunday Best is different.
Dennys 2am
Kyle's got a brand new bag.
The night the lights went out in Georgia
Oh, God!
Coughing on the metro.
Now that you mention it,....
Watch your brain!
Hey hey mama, the lights are on, but no one's home.
Graceberry
The South Kingston News
When the robot revolution comes, you will not be downloaded.
Do Not Open. Ever.
Preston died seven years ago,
Was it after the camp fire?
Meow meow meow meow
Dear Pat
And the award goes to Preston!
Pssst....
Put "Quilt" on a triple word score and you get 500 points.
What's Destry doing?
But, rubber ducky, you're the one!
Happy Birthday to my twin husband! And to me....
A play!
I'll bet we have scurvy now too.
WHAT A WOOKIE!!!
Georgia's growing her bangs out.
Preston and Georgia At Club Hell
But you don't have to take our word for it,....
Three guesses!
And there are these beings, Slaad, who run the security check points and don't let you bring anything fluid.
It'll be something in leopard print.
The dumbest thing I've ever heard.
Only killer is He pays in mostly old Summarian coins.
Look out for r8Zor bl8dZ!! Breast cancer awareness edition!! Your dollars support breast cancer!
Look out for r8Zor bl8dZ!!
You don't bring Tim flowers anymore.
With powers to knock everything over!
Milk Shake Talkin'
Could you perform it out at sea? At a quarter of three?
Well, he's not.
And what about his diamond thumb tacks??
Pat said Preston said
The Ideals of Youth
Handicap Accessible
They smell like funerals.
Well, grammatically speaking....
Pat and Georgia star in their own Lifetime movie.
Heart shaped box
AL East
Throat Cancer
xkcd Tribute
Going back to french fries.
Lego Ego Maniacs
With these powers combined...!
Excuse you
Rogues....
Footprints in the sand
Transamerica
White men and the buffalo
Block Island Ferry
Mr. Rogers vs Seasame St
No!
Interupting Starfish
Sometimes it's better not to ask...
Use the Force
He has all the guns.
Hungry Hungry County Fair Princesses!
Dinner
Preston loses more cars that way.
It's Getting Late
A Love Letter....
Oral Sex Can Kill You
Bonjour Pat!
The Deathly Hallows Imprisonment
Marriage Proposal
The Deathly Hallows Debate
Leprechauns in Hawaii
You can have some of my fries.
Jedi name formula
Like Canada
Preston's a wicked slut.
